Welp, lot happened.
On monday I fell on myself and my ankle fucking crunched, so now i have a bimalleolar fracture in my ankle. I ain't going to classes.
Speaking of which, I'm withdrawing from the semester so i can rejoin uni next semester and have time to recover.
劣等生だわ。ここ以外にこんなことを言わないけど、
苦しい苦しいこれが苦しい嫌い嫌い嫌嫌あたしは嫌馬鹿アホ糞って悪い子だ
死にたい死にたい死にたいけど死ねば嫌だわ。あたしは失敗作少女、でも死なない。
(translation for those who dont wanna google: essentially even though i've refused to express it outside of here, i fucking hate that im withdrawing from classes. Im a fucking failure girl, a terrible student, and I deserve to hurt. But as much as I want, I can't die though. Dying's no good.)
...essentially, ankle broke, classes done for the semester (until like january or whenever my uni starts up again...), i shouldnt have been happy and frolicking and letting myself slip by jumping on curbs in the rain and its my fault its my fault im a terrible fucking student i hate this so much why cant i be enough why cant i be perfectttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
My parents are running to my dorm to get stuff outta it (pc since im currently on a laptop, piano keyboard...). I really wish i could go and get my blades.
I'm going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere in the West Virginian tree void, and i dont even get my self harm razor blades. I wonder what that janitor will think when they clean out my room and see a bloodied razor in the pencil cup and 22 or so in a drawer...
I really wish I could cut right now.