Welp, lot happened.
On monday I fell on myself and my ankle fucking crunched, so now i have a bimalleolar fracture in my ankle. I ain't going to classes.
Speaking of which, I'm withdrawing from the semester so i can rejoin uni next semester and have time to recover.
(translation for those who dont wanna google: essentially even though i've refused to express it outside of here, i fucking hate that im withdrawing from classes. Im a fucking failure girl, a terrible student, and I deserve to hurt. But as much as I want, I can't die though. Dying's no good.)
...essentially, ankle broke, classes done for the semester (until like january or whenever my uni starts up again...), i shouldnt have been happy and frolicking and letting myself slip by jumping on curbs in the rain and its my fault its my fault im a terrible fucking student i hate this so much why cant i be enough why cant i be perfectttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt
My parents are running to my dorm to get stuff outta it (pc since im currently on a laptop, piano keyboard...). I really wish i could go and get my blades.
I'm going to be stuck in the middle of nowhere in the West Virginian tree void, and i dont even get my self harm razor blades. I wonder what that janitor will think when they clean out my room and see a bloodied razor in the pencil cup and 22 or so in a drawer...
I really wish I could cut right now.